Its been a while, I must say its always bittersweet to come back here. I could never close down this site altogether. Im able to go all the way back to 2012 and relive my feelings and emotions during rough patches. I can remember every trigger that caused me to write. Rereading the past is so theraputic, and equally frustrating since im contantly editing my mistakes.
Its been two long years since ive written anything. I went back through old notes to see why? when did it stop? Well alot happened but it started with the other woman.
The first time it happened my mom had offered me a piece of advise.
“You could either leave and start all over again or look passed it and settle with what you’ve already built, like so many women before you, you will never be the only one”
In the midst of it all, I found out I was pregnant. Pregnancy definetly shifted my thinking as I started to nest. Needless to say I stood strong. The third time was a final straw for me; it wasnt numerous women it was this one woman who knew well of me yet was fed lies- now I could sit here and blame it all on her and say mean things about her- but at the end of the day she never owed me shit. He did, he was suppose to stay loyal.
Im a very realistic person, we are young and still learning. No matter how odd it sounds but I was waiting on it, waiting on his fuck up. Then BAM it happened and ripped me to pieces and so much occured so fast it seemed like the world was spinning at a rapid pace.
Its been rough and long but im not embaressed to tell my story because so many women relate to me, its actually quite daunting that so many women hide in the shadows of denial. Its unhealthy, I learned that the hard way. Lets talk about it. Lets talk about personal fuck ups- cause I aint no angel either. Regardless, I cant allow this bump in the road to deter me from something I was meant to do, something that calms me, something that for so long has made me, well me.